Rise Above The Fray

In the last two weeks, God has been teaching me a lot about handling people…I sort of have the feeling that there is more to come!

In my personal life and at work, the challenges are the same….just different people. Once I told my HR manager how difficult his job must me. Always having to listen to all sort opinions on how to do things… on just ONE issue.

Working in the academic institution doesn’t help either. You will have Drs & Profs telling you how things should be. I told him that at least in my work, the furniture I buy doesn’t talk back, whatever the color that I choose.

“Let's face it. Sometimes people just plain don't like each other and can’t get along. People usually attribute this sort of problem to strong personalities and being difficult. Labeling the problem this way seems to be a justification for not doing anything about it. After all, one cannot change the basic nature of another person, right?”

Difficult people do exist. Difficult people come in every variety and no place is without them. Dealing with difficult people is much tougher when they are attacking you or undermining your professional contribution.

Difficult people come in every conceivable variety.

• Some talk constantly and never listen.


• Others must always have the last word.


• Some fail to keep commitments.


• Others criticize anything that they did not create.


• Difficult people compete with you for power, privilege and the spotlight;
  
  Some attempt to undermine you and you constantly feel as if you need to watch your back. Difficult people and situations exist in every place. They all have one thing in common. You must address them. No matter the type of difficult situation in which you find yourself, dealing with difficult people or situations is a must.
  
  Trust me. Your situation won’t get better; left unaddressed, it usually gets worse. Unaddressed, necessary conflict simmers just below – and often erupts counterproductively above – the surface at work.
  
  Here are four things we could try:-
  
• Establish the Ideal. Engage the group in a conversation about what kind of team they want to have. Get them talking about behaviors that will make the team more successful and interesting for the members. Groups have their own unique cultures. Your job is to get the group to compare the culture they have to the one they want.


• Clear up fuzzy leadership. Sometimes people clash in the absence of clear leadership. Perhaps these two are positioning for power and control of the team. Assuming neither is right for the role, make it clear who is in charge.


• Try the obvious. While it may be the least attractive option, it is probably the most effective. Talk with these people individually or together. Let them know that their behaviors are affecting the team. Work with them to understand the underlying problems and together develop solutions that will address the conflicts.


• Clean house. As a last resort, the leader may want to remove one or both of these people from the team. If your gut is telling you that they are significantly cutting into productivity and effectiveness, and you have tried everything you and others can think of doing, this becomes a reasonable action. Take it.”
  
  Adapted from Tom LaForce at his website, http://tomlaforce.com
  Susan M. Heathfield http://humanresources.about.com/bio/Susan-M-Heathfield-6016.htm